Epic Story

Many, many years ago we were deeply entrenched in a war…and obviously kicking tail since we are purely awesome. But that’s a different story for another time. The story that I have for you to hear is of me and my choice encounter with someone…known to many as Sarah. Now, just sit back and listen…

“Me and my friends were playing hopscotch, you see? Now we weren’t in our top form, since we had all ready won the international championship, (had to beat out a few angry first graders, which was very difficult I assure you) and so didn’t feel that motivated playing. Anyways, it was Jimmy the Cruel’s turn (long story about the name, mainly to do about Vikings and an angsty Harry Potter impersonator) but unfortunately as he was about to land a perfect jump on one foot, a pebble that no one anticipated showed up out of nowhere! He stepped on his toe and our hopscotch team was ruined for all eternity…now all we have are memories of that fateful international championship.

Oh, so then a few months after that I ran into this lady on the street who called herself Sarah (according to her nametag which was very shiny). ‘Now that is a cool name,’ I thought to myself. Then when I was going into the drycleaners, she was going there too. So I decided to have a chat with her, and it went something like this:
‘Say…can you spare a quarter, I’m one short of doing my laundry,’ I asked with my best Christopher Lee impersonation.
‘It’s just one quarter to wash everything’ she replied quizzically.
‘Oh, are you sure?’ I tried to follow up, thinking to myself that I could still not look like a total idiot by the end of this conversation.
‘Yeah, the giant sign is a pretty big giveaway…’ William Shatner intervened.
‘Oh, right. Forgot it was special cheapie-day Thursdays.’ I said. Dang, I was in for it now, the Shatner had to come over and prove how out of it I was.
‘Anyways, I think your name and nametag are totally awesome,’ I said to Sarah. Then I flew away with Mr. Shatners fleece sweater (had a Star Trek logo on it, so you know that’s why it flew). And then he called the police and I was arrested.
After serving about 3,000 minutes in jail (met a cool guy named Lil’ Frank) and then Sarah came to bail me out. She brought the awesome help of Jack Black, the entire animating staff of every Disney movie and the US Olympic Curling team. It only took about 3 hours to bust out of jail…since all the right paperwork needed to be filled out.
Then, during our epic escape I realized that I should try to think of a way to repay Sarah. After all, not that many people would bail me out of jail and go the whole nine yards and bring the Olympic Curling Team.
‘So Sarah,’ I started. ‘I owe you a big one, so how about I repay you with three egg rolls and some lint from my pocket.’
‘Don’t mention it, you are one weird kid though,’ she replied.
‘Oh wait! I do have something, and I insist you take it!’ I exclaimed after a brief silence. ‘I can give you tickets to see the Veronicas, live from upside down town! I killed the turtle that had front row seats, so you can have them!’ This was it! I could repay someone who bailed me out of jail and with a very shiny nametag.
‘Cool, I guess I could go, but first I’ll fly my dragon-copter down to visit my ninja family in Canada. We should become friends though.’”
And the rest is history…or still happening, depending on how you look at it.